ACCEPT YOURSELF & OTHERS WILL TOO!

I wrote this for a specific purpose, but I saw it fit to use as a blog topic. Most of you won't comment out of fear or denial. For me, transparency is best!

*Some Biblical References....

Do you REALLY know who you are?

 Surprisingly most of us do not. We know some things we like and some things we don’t like, but what generally happens throughout the course of life is that we experience events, make choices, and realize characteristics that we CHOOSE to ignore instead of face or deal with in a healthy manner. The result of this is that our self-perception becomes distorted and thus when we begin to meet people and our “real” selves begin to emerge, which sometimes causes a problem because we become defensive when we’re confronted with it.

I read an article that suggested that self-denial is very common in our society and causes a form of self-deception that forces us to then form incorrect impressions about others.

o   In your day to day interactions with people, have you noticed this trend as well?

 Oftentimes painful experiences send us into a state of self-denial. Some people have identity issues when they’ve been married since an early age and then end up widowed or divorced. They find it difficult to simply live because they have no sense of self. Traumatic events such as molestation, abuse, & rape will often distort our views of reality if not dealt with appropriately.This was my personal story. I realized that because I had experienced these traumas, and had not dealt with them effectively, I was subconsciously holding myself hostage to my past. I wasn’t allowing me to really get to know me. My behaviors, attitudes, and perceptions of myself were completely messed up. Something in me didn’t feel worthy or able to love or be loved. Of course…at the time, I never would have admitted that.

While researching this topic, I ran across several questions that can help anyone who may be struggling with personal acceptance…Maybe they will help you.

 

             Let’s focus on a few………..

 

Ø 2 Corinthians 10:12-13 talks about comparing and contrasting yourself to others…

1.     Do you find yourselves comparing yourselves to others? If so, why do you think you do this.

Many of us, especially females, tend to look at another person with some level of envy wondering why our body part or material possession isn't like theirs.

Ø   In 2 Corinthians 12: 6-10, Paul talks about speaking and knowing the truth about yourself so that a person is not fooled by how you portray yourself……**You know…sending your representative forward first**

He acknowledges that God made him with flaws, and although he believed that God should take away his flaws – and even asked him to several times as we probably have – Once he realized that his flaws were his flaws and he was given them for a purpose, he accepted them and understood that what we may perceive as a weakness or shortcoming, is all strength in Christ when we are using it to fulfill his purpose for our lives - which is to glorify God. Our abilities and limitations were given by Him and help us to fulfill this purpose. Our limitations help us to be humble, depend on God, and better understand others.

2.     So why do you believe that it is important to have a healthy self-image – knowing and accepting our attributes and shortcomings?

 

3.     Do you focus more on pleasure-producing activities vs. relationship building or self-development?

For me it was sex. That was my escape and I knew how to use it and not       allow anyone to get too close to me emotionally. For you it may be TV or the internet or drinking or whatever….

 

4.     Do you blame others for where you are in life?

a.     If only I hadn’t gone through this…..

b.     If this person hadn’t done this to me….

c.      I can’t do this or have that because my ex took everything…

Answers…………………………………………………………………………………….

Ø God gave us a magnificent power in forgiveness. Once you master this skill and learn how to harness its power and CHOOSE to use it…it will effectively free you and you can begin to heal and embrace yourself.

Ø Remember though that the forgiveness of self is the first step. You must love and accept you for who you truly are before you can expect anybody else to.

I will close with Paul’s teaching to us about the purpose of evaluating ourselves. In 2 Corinthians 13:5, he says:

“Examine yourselves, whether ye be in the faith; prove your own selves. Know ye not your own selves, how that Jesus Crist is in you, except ye be reprobates”