BULLYING..The Simple Truth

Recently, I was asked by a group of constituents if I had ever been bullied or been a bully. My immediate answer was "No! Bullying never affected me". What a lie! I realized that I lied completely unintentionally. Apparently my mouth spoke faster than my brain was working.

I absolutely had been bullied! I was only five years old and was being chased home from school every day. I would get locked in the middle of a circle of girls who would take turns hitting and pushing me. This went on for quite a while until the day I finally stood up for myself. It is certainly not an experience that I am proud of, but it did serve to help shape the person I am today. The simple truth is that we all experience things in life that ultimately help to mold the person we are to become. Unfortunately, sometimes some of us succumb to the negative effects of bullying and never make it to see the person we could have become. This breaks my heart. When I hear stories of 10 year old children taking their own lives because they couldn't cope with bullying, it makes my physically ill...as it should every human with heart and compassion for their fellow human. Don't understand? Watch this:

Ten year old commits suicide because of bullying

Here's what I've learned about bullies: Most of the time, kids bully because they are being bullied at home. This causes them to seek out someone who appears weaker than they are, in some aspect, and exact there anger and frustration onto the person that they believe to be inferior. Sometimes people, especially girls, use bullying as a way to boost their own self-esteem. They believe that degrading someone else will effectively make them appear more beautiful or popular. It's a sad distortion that has to be fixed. These cycles have to be broken.

Parents, our children are valuable. In fact, they are the most valuable resource that we have and we're either destroying them or allowing them to destroy themselves. Don't think it applies to you? Well, it does! Regardless to whether or not your child is personally affected by bullying, it takes a village to raise a child...or haven't you heard that before? We seem to have lost that along the way somewhere. Our children, and our neighbor's children, need us to care for them and protect them, not cause them more grief. If you're the parent bullying your child at home, it's time to break that cycle. Just because you went through it doesn't mean that your child should also be a victim. Instead of creating generations of abuse and hurt, how about we start to build generations of love and support? It is entirely possible AND entirely up to us.

HOMEWORK:

1. Realize that there is a problem
2. Seek out professional help (if you have no insurance or means to pay for this then find someone else to talk to, or contact me)
3. Begin to practice new behaviors (such as, expressing love, supporting their ideas and endeavors, becoming involved in school experiences and functions)
4. Make these new behaviors a habit
5. Talk to your kids about bullying and show them the effects of bullying through documentary films, videos, news stories, etc...
6. Seek spiritual guidance (if this is your belief system)
7. Learn new behaviors for yourself (such as, stopping smoking, drinking, or abusing drugs; learn to pamper yourself)
8. Believe that you and your children deserve better and work toward it daily

Listen, I understand that the road won't be easy. Generally, nothing truly worth it is easy, but that's ok. It's ok to mess up along the way. The important part is that you continue to work hard at reaching your goal and that you never give up on each other. Your children...my children...need you, and you need them just as much. Recognize and realize that simple truth and I promise that life will begin to bring you brightness, comfort, and yes, even joy.